Megan Mulls It Over

+JMJ

As the world grapples with the spread of the coronavirus, it is critical that the public have access to accurate medical information from objective, trustworthy sources. Just as important is access to sources of inspirational wisdom and assurances that everything will be ok.

You won’t find any of that in this post.

But luckily President Obama is willing to step in and be the pragmatic optimist that America is longing for right now. I learned from this CNN article that he advised Americans via Twitter to “…stay calm, listen to the experts, and follow the science.”

So if you’re thinking the coronavirus outbreak might be partially or entirely a government undertaking, you’re not doing a good job of “listening to the experts.” Which means you’re not taking Obama’s advice. Which means you’re probably a racist.

“Oh Megan! Leave it to you to turn a public health crisis into one of your whacko conspiracy theories! Don’t you have any respect for the victims of the coronavirus and their grieving families?” Not so fast.

First of all, I don’t have any official theories about the coronavirus outbreak.

Second of all, if you think uncritical acceptance of a government narrative is a good way to show respect to the dead and their grieving families, you might get an extra scoop of gruel when we’re all under quarantine in the repurposed stadium. You might even get to be the one scooping out the gruel.

Which sounds kinda like the kindergarten line leader of the New World Order, so congratulations.

In all seriousness, I think that any large-scale public health crisis is a good time to reflect on the relationship between liberty and security and how often Americans, myself included, are willing to sacrifice the former for the latter. Everyone complains about the long lines at the airport, but not as much as they’d complain if a plane got hijacked.

And no mainstream, widely respected public figure ever acknowledges the fact that a plea for government aid is an implicit acceptance of government control. In other words, if you expect the government to keep you safe from terrorism and offer material aid in the event of a terrorist attack, you kinda have to let them take steps to prevent a terrorist attack. And since adopting a foreign policy that doesn’t suck seems to be off the table, you’re left with taking off your shoes and going through those scanners that creep you out and will either give you superpowers or cancer.

Probably surprising fun fact: When it comes to liberty violations, airport security measures are, at this point, pretty low on my priority list and not a significant source of annoyance or distress for me. But I had to mention them because I feel like I am in the minority on that issue.

So nobody is really a fan of the TSA and even those who think that crazed kooks are overrepresented in libertarian circles (fair point) are probably open to thinking that the TSA is a threat to liberty. “The TSA keeps us safe” is a phrase that will undoubtedly get lots of laughs. “The police keep us safe” won’t get as many laughs, but it will definitely get a mixed reaction.

And yet, “The military keep us safe” will get uproarious cheers. Even though the U.S. military has bigger weapons and more freedom to use them than any U.S. police force.

And the military is never far from the scene in times of health scares or natural disasters. “Megan, you’re crazy. The National Guard is busy passing out food and water during times of crisis. Are food and water threats to liberty now?”

I bet you are a Republican or other brand of right-winger who loves his guns. And I bet you have yelled at the TV many times to warn many a politician that he’ll have to pry your gun from your cold, dead hands. You probably have even entertained the idea that a public health crisis, natural disaster or other catastrophic event would be the perfect time to roll out some new gun restrictions.

But I bet you haven’t given much thought to who would actually be showing up at your door demanding that you surrender your guns.

Or the fact that that Back the Blue sign in your yard or the yellow ribbon decal on your truck won’t give you a pass with that person.

And if you think that a significant number of police officers and soldiers would refuse to confiscate your guns, I’m surprised that you even have guns. Because who needs guns in a world of sunshine and rainbows?

“Wow Megan, can’t you ever end on a cheerful note?” It’s happened. Once or twice. Probably.

And although this doesn’t count as “ending on a cheerful note,” I definitely got a kick out of the things that inspired this last segment.

In local news, the City of Austin cancelled the annual South by Southwest (“SXSW”) music and film festival due to coronavirus concerns. “Megan, how is that funny?!”

First of all, I’m sure some who are sad about the cancellation are sulking around as if they needed an excuse to get high at a concert in Austin and SXSW was their only opportunity to do that. And that’s funny.

And I can assure them that no one is sadder about the cancellation than the Austin Police Department.

“Megan, that’s crazy! I bet the police are happy that they don’t have to deal with the extra crowds and extra shifts.” I don’t doubt that.

But I do doubt that they’ll be thrilled when they get lectured about how they didn’t issue enough DWIs this month and how that means that the department won’t be able to afford that Chris Kyle memorial edition sniper kit they’ve been wanting for so long.

Second of all, the SXSW cancellation made some bleeding-heart liberals sound kinda like Trump supporters. When they were begging the City to cancel SXSW, they were saying some version of, “SXSW has to be cancelled because it brings large crowds of people from all over the world.”

Translation: “Government, it’s your job to protect us from all those disease-ridden foreigners.”

And last but not least, if this really is the zombie apocalypse, some of the people who begged for the cancellation will probably be sad that Austin didn’t have one last hoorah before we all died. And yet a lot of them probably have “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today” plastered on their social media profiles. And it wouldn’t surprise me if some of them chided me earlier because they think my conspiracy theories are disrespectful to the dead.

So my question to them is, “Why do you hate James Dean so much?”

Verso l’alto,
Megan