Megan Mulls It Over

+JMJ

Note: As I have done in other places on this blog, in this post I will use what some of you might consider to be the “wrong pronouns.” I will also use the term “transgender man” in a way that is opposite that of politically correct society (i.e., when I say “transgender man,” I mean “man who identifies as a woman”). This decision comes from my deeply held convictions that “every man is man enough” and that it is unethical and immoral to convince a man who feels “not man enough” that he needs “hormone therapy” and “gender confirmation surgery” to cope with those feelings. If you are not convinced that these convictions come from a place of sincere compassion and concern, I hope that you will at least hear me out.

Late last night/early this morning I stumbled upon a video by YouTube vlogger Riley J. Dennis called “Anti-Trans Slurs You Shouldn’t Use,” and I watched it to find out if: a) I used any of the words he discussed; and b) If so, if I viewed them as slurs and was willing to stop using them. To clarify that second point, I do not support the use of slurs for LGBT people or anybody else. However, I do not believe that “man” is a slur when the subject is a man. The person who is calling him a man may be acting like a jerk and using actual slurs or other uncharitable language (like the many chest-thumpers who comment on Chelsea Manning’s social media posts), but that does not make the word “man” itself a slur.

Two additional things to be aware of: 1) This is not an endorsement of Riley J. Dennis’ YouTube channel. A lot of his content is very disturbing and morally offensive. 2) Riley would say that I am “misgendering” him in this post. He is a man who calls himself a “qu**r girl.” (Asterisks are mine, not his, because I consider that word a slur and refuse to use it, even when someone uses it for himself. The one exception that I will make to this is spelling out and saying the title Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. BTW I do not watch this show in its present version, but I did watch the original version when it was on the air.)

Following is Part 1 of the list of words from the video in the order that Riley discusses them, with my commentary below each.

1) “Tr*nny”

I do not use this word, and I agree that it is a slur. Not surprisingly, though, Riley asserts that even though it is a slur, many in the transgender community have “reclaimed it,” and that that’s totally okay. SMH.

2) “Sh*male”

This is another one that I refuse to use, and thus I do not object to Riley’s classification of it as a slur. And this is another one that he says is being “reclaimed.” He explains that this word is commonly found in the porn industry where transgender actors use it to refer to themselves, but he ignores the elephant in the room here. That is, the men in the porn and prostitution industries who are “reclaiming” this word aren’t really reclaiming anything of value. They are not reclaiming their masculine nouns and pronouns from everybody who told them they weren’t “man enough.” Nor are they reclaiming their ability to make money in a way that doesn’t dehumanize them and everyone else involved. I remember a time when the Left claimed to be all about helping sex workers find a way out of sex work. Some on the Left still remain dedicated to this. But much of the New/Newer Left doesn’t have anything to offer sex workers beyond some condoms and a “You go, girl!” Cue weeping for humanity.

3) “Ladyboy”

I consider this one a slur as well (albeit for a reason that is the opposite of Riley’s reason), but I have chosen not to use asterisks. I made that choice for a couple different reasons: 1) To avoid asterisk overload. I think both parts of the word are derogatory because it is derogatory to call a man a lady, and it is also derogatory in this particular instance to call a man a boy; and 2) I believe that it is important to keep this word in our vocabulary (in a respectful way) to call attention to the existence of “ladyboys” in Thai society. I will continue to put it in quotes as a way of acknowledging the facts that “ladyboys” are men and that this is a derogatory term. Riley, of course, thinks that the problem with this word is that it calls a lady a boy.

Not surprisingly many “ladyboys” end up working as prostitutes. And if you think Riley is going to say something in this video about how sad this is or call out their pimps or “clients,” you are going to be like that skeleton-on-a-bench meme, “still waiting.”

Final thought about “ladyboys”: Riley is probably one of those feminists who think that the admonition to “Act like a lady” is always offensive and degrading. I do not agree with that view. But I think it can be argued that the term “ladyboy” is an example of a time when that admonition actually is degrading, and Riley, like many others on the Left often are, is too preoccupied with nothing burgers to notice an actual problem. Even if he doesn’t think “ladyboys” are men, does he really not see that built into this word is the subtext of “Act like a lady and give me what I want”?

4) “Trap”

This is a term that I was unfamiliar with prior to this video, although I was familiar with the concept. “Trap” refers to a transgender man (Riley says “trans woman”) who does not disclose that he is transgender to a cisgender male romantic or sexual partner. I am undecided on whether or not I consider this word a slur, but I will not insist on using it. I will, however, not hesitate to use words like “dishonest,” “deceptive,” “manipulative,” and, under certain circumstances, “exploitative” or even “predatory.”

Notably, Riley does not criticize this practice. (He even puts air quotes around “trick” when he states that these transgender men “trick” cisgender men.) Here is my problem with this: Even if you don’t think this counts as deception, isn’t failure to fully disclose your gender very unwise and unsafe in this context? Riley acknowledges that cisgender men will “often lash out” when they discover that they have been misled in this way and that “It’s a common fear in the trans community that men will hurt you or kill you if they discover that you’re trans.”

So my question to Riley is: how can you be aware of these dangers and still not encourage transgender men to stop doing this?

Let me be clear: anyone who commits an act of violence against a transgender person should be met, ideally, by #StandYourGround in the moment or, barring that, a prison sentence after the fact. And yet, many in the transgender community think guns and prisons are “mean.” Being liberal is so empowering, amirite?

There are five more terms that Riley describes in his video, which I will discuss in Part 2. I hope you will stay tuned.

Verso l’alto,
Megan

A Note About Comments: In addition to the rules posted in the main Comment Policy, please note the following. I will not impose my personal rule about masculine pronouns for Riley J. Dennis on commenters. Your comment will not be deleted if you refer to him as “she,” “her,” or “they.” It will, however, be deleted if you refer to him as “it” or any other word that I consider a slur. Feel free to criticize his actions or ideology, but please do not attack his humanity.